Allow Your Voice To Be Heard Despite the “Noise”
This week’s topic came to me almost immediately after last week’s post. Apparently, my blog last week stirred up some unwelcome feelings from some folks. This did not surprise me. What may surprise you is that I wasn’t sure I wanted to share it. I have been taught from a very young age not to share my feelings, not to share my opinions, and those lessons have been ingrained into me even into my professional life, especially as an educator. I even let a few people read my blog before I posted it beforehand just because I was unsure of how it would be received. This leads into this week’s lesson, which my daughter taught me and is still teaching me: Stand strong for what you believe, and it’s okay if people don’t like you or what you share on social media. It’s okay not to be liked.
As a child I was taught that children were to be seen and not heard. If I defied this rule then there were harsh consequences. Use your imagination and I can assure you it was worse. I’m not sharing this to generate sympathy, only to paint a clear picture of where I’m coming from. Then fast forward to my adult life into a world where women are discouraged to share their opinions. For some reason, when we do, we receive harsher judgement than the opposite gender. I’ve seen it firsthand. Most people when assume since I come across as a fairly friendly, outgoing and independent person I never hold back what I feel. Nothing could be further from the truth. I very rarely share how I truly feel because if I do someone will say something about it. I have learned that people want to hear what they want to hear, not your true opinion. Besides that, I am a people pleaser. I’m not proud of that fact. I like people to support me. I like to make people happy, so when someone dislikes or disagrees with my thoughts it upsets me. I feel as if I need their validation to make me like myself. How wrong I was.
It took my daughter to make me see this. It took her saying that it’s alright for people not to like my post. Not everyone is going to agree with my opinions. She shared her own trials and how there were some who called her content “weird” but still followed her. Here is a young woman who is still figuring out who she is and is putting herself out there with videos showing herself getting ready in the morning or going on marathon runs and dealing with the so-called haters of the world giving me advice about not caring about what others think. Seriously, she’s posting videos WITHOUT makeup and not thinking a thing about it. I know I can’t do that. I’m always worrying about what others think, but my teenage daughter is sharing herself to people she doesn’t even known and some she does and not allowing their comments to affect her. Wow! Why would I care what someone else thinks when I am almost fifty-years-old? I’ve learned it doesn’t matter how old you are, we are all insecure. We are struggling with our peers, regardless or our age and this social media world we live in, we are more vulnerable than ever. I have to realize than any time I post anything I need to have to have thick skin, and it’s okay not to have everyone agree with my content. I don’t post these blogs for you to agree with me. I share my stories to help moms who may be facing similar issues with their teens. Your experiences may not be the same as mine, but if I can help you through a particular rough patch by sharing something I have learned or observed, then that’s all that matters. We don’t have to see exactly eye to eye. We can absolutely agree to disagree. What I had to realize is that it’s okay to have haters. It’s okay to have those trolls out there who can’t handle what you write, but there was no need to allow those close-minded people to bring you down. They’re not my target audience anyway. I can’t let them win. Their comments don’t make me or you any less. They aren’t putting themselves out there on social media sharing their experiences. Posting your thoughts takes guts. It’s not easy, and I am thankful for all of you who take the time to read my blogs and whether you agree with them is irrelevant. I appreciate your support! So I will continue to be strong and not care what others say. I will share my truth regardless of those naysayers. I can believe in me. I do not need to make others happy to make myself happy. It’s a tough lesson, and each day I am working on it by believing in myself regardless of what others think or say. I refuse to allow anyone’s comments make me feel small again!
Speaking of support, I promised you a surprise and I told you I would be stepping out of my comfort zone. Recently, my daughter approached with me a proposition. She has a podcast called JTALK and she wanted to do a collaboration where we bridge the gap between our generations and our brands. I thought it was a great idea. This will be a video vlog, so you will get to see us interact with topics both of our generations deal with. I think you’re in for a real treat! I will post the links here and create a YouTube channel as well with our new collab name: Mother-Daughter Diaries. Can’t wait for you to hear and see the first episode!
