Are You the Hero or the Villain of Your Story?
When you think about your life, your story, who are you: the villain or the hero? Sometimes it may depend on the day, right? Or maybe not. Think about it and then be honest. Do you play the victim? Do allow life to happen to you rather than taking control of the reins?
When you’re retelling events of your day to others is it always someone else’s fault that your day ended up so horribly wrong? Now are you the hero or the villain? You might be surprised by the answer.
This was a conversation I had with my daughter recently. We know several people of varying ages, adults and teenagers, who play the victim, and, boy, do they do a convincing job! The problem with playing the victim is that they are not taking control of their own lives. They are allowing life to happen to them.When in fact, they are creating the life they are leading. My daughter reminded me that as she was growing up, I always told her that she was in control of every situation, whether she liked it or not. She could control how she behaved and how she wanted to look at it, so she was never a victim unless she wanted to be. She could be happy or sad; it was up to her. I’d forgotten about these little pearls of wisdom I had somehow dispensed so many moons ago. I guess she was listening, and she had carried those words with her until perhaps they made more sense.
As we talked through different “villains,” I could see her point. These people were setting themselves up for the downfalls they wanted. They wanted to be upset. They wanted the drama and stress of those situations. They had caused it themselves. We like to think that we are players on this gigantic stage called life, but really, we create many of the elements of our own story, just like the author of our favorite novel or screenwriter of our favorite show. You chose to interview for the job you have or chose to study for the field you’re in. You chose to work where you work. When you’re at your job, you can choose how you want to behave and interpret what happens. Our minds are the most powerful muscle in our bodies, yet we forget that. We allow our emotions to overrule the rational side of ourselves. Now I’m not saying that’s not warranted in some instances. I’m an emotional person. I would hate to be unfeeling and stoic, walking through life without any type of reaction. Anyone who knows me and my very expressive face knows that could never happen. But what if you chose how to behave in a situation and didn’t allow yourself to always be the victim or villain? What if you chose to be the hero instead? You have that power. You are the creator of your own story. I think we tend to forget that.
Perhaps it’s just easier to be the villain. It’s easier to let someone else run over you. Think about it. How often do you blame someone else for your misfortune? You couldn’t get that job because of the economy? Or because they wanted someone local? Maybe we need to take a closer look inside and not blame ourselves for what we consider inadequacies but consider them parts of ourselves we could simply accept and then perhaps work on, or better yet just accept and move on. There’s a lot to be said about accepting who you are and letting yourself be that person even if other people may not agree with you or even like you. It’s tough. But maybe that’s when you change from being a victim/villain and become your own hero because you are accepting yourself. You are putting yourself first for a change. Without excuses, without placing blame, you are accepting your circumstances and then you may be able to decide whether you want to change them.
Once you leave your pity party, you will see all the other plot lines available to you. Just think about all of the possibilities, all those opportunities when you get out of your own way! All it takes is for you to stop playing the role of the villain and step into your rightful role of the hero of your own story.
