Maybe a Little Structure Isn’t All Bad

In some of my most recent blogs I have been sharing experiences I have had overall, not necessarily ones I have learned from my newly minted seventeen-year-old, so here’s a new one. Teenagers need structure. You might be scratching your head at this. Really? Why would these young adults whose sole purpose seems NOT to color inside the lines need rules and structure? I wondered about that too, so let me share some personal and professional experiences to prove my point.  

I have taught high school students for the past 18 years and during that time I have seen lots of different teaching techniques with various ways of classroom management and have even tried a few of these new and supposedly “better” techniques myself. My classroom has clear expectations we go over in the beginning of the year that are enforced and sometimes reinforced daily as the school year progresses. I like clear rules and expectations. I have found that if I do not let my students know how much work is due and when it is due they will not understand how to pace themselves and this causes communication confusion for them and me. If there is a paper due then they need to know how long it is to be, when the rough draft is due, how many words I would like to see or how much progress they have made each day, etc. It helps them stay on task. Does it work for everyone? Not always but at least they know what is expected and how they will be assessed. I even use this with group projects, otherwise it is total chaos, and no one knows what to do and mostly chit chat is accomplished and not much else. This works for me and seems to work for my students.  

What happens though if a teacher gives the students free rein, essentially? They are able to choose their projects, what they want to learn, and how they want to be assessed? It sounds like a dream? Right? Yes and no. It’s great to have the freedom to choose what you want to learn about but with so much information readily available, it can be a bit overwhelming, even for the most decisive minds to sift through. They are given a due date and some possible ideas for assignments but other than that it’s up to them to decide how they want to learn. Some students loved it; they loved independence and freedom of choice. If they wanted to procrastinate, that was fine. If they wanted to sit during class and do nothing, then that was acceptable as long as the final project was completed and turned in by the due date. Did that happen? Sometimes and sometimes not. I have found that once you give students this much freedom, they can’t figure out how to rein themselves in and their procrastination only worsens, and the final product looks rushed and is of subpar quality. Other students who are used to deadlines and assignment requirements flail and worry. They feel overwhelmed with so much freedom dumped on them. The structure they are used to helps their brain manage the task assigned. So, when those requirements are removed, they may feel like a cartoon character crossing a rickety bridge that has just fallen away beneath their feet. Will students still gripe about the requirements when a teacher gives them a structured assignment? Of course, but I have decided that’s better than saying nothing at all or having a student have an anxiety attack because they just looked down at the roaring river below without even a swinging, rope bridge to support them.  

That was a professional example, so what about a personal one? I knew a woman who was a single mom of a teenage girl. They seemed to have a pretty close relationship versus the on again off again relationship I had with my own mother who had very strict rules for me as a teenager. The girl could come and go as she pleased, hang out with whomever she wanted, and didn’t have a curfew. One day I asked her if she liked this type of relationship with her mom and she hesitated before answering. She said she actually wanted a curfew. She wanted rules because if her mother had rules and enforced them then it would mean she loved her and thought enough of her to make them. I was surprised. I thought most teens hated curfews and all the rules that parents required because “you live under my roof.” I am almost ashamed to admit that I have uttered those words to my daughter, and she wasn’t upset by them. She likes knowing exactly when she is supposed to be home and where she may go. When you think about it, we all have rules and structure we live by. Most graduates think when they live on their own, they can do what they want, and to a certain extent they can, but they still must abide by rules and the social structure of our society. Then it should not come as a surprise that perhaps these rebellious, free-thinking young folks might want a little structure when it comes to parenting. What a relief!  

So the next time you feel like an overprotective ogre because you put your foot down with your free-flying teen, be comforted that they are loved and maybe one day they will see that too.